Best Remaining Free Agents as Wedding Guests

Since the season hasn't started and it's all hearsay as far as ranking these guys, here are the best remaining free agents as wedding guests.

Shouts out Cody for getting married.

Cam Whitmore: The Step Brother - Whitmore is the guy you spot at the party who's surrounded by people and they're all laughing like it's their job. If you go over there you might have the time of your life, or you might catch a misdemeanor.

David Roddy: The Favorite Uncle - He brought a flask even though it's an open bar. You're not sure what role he's gonna play in the night, but you know you're gonna remember it forever.

Monte Morris: The Christian Aunt - You wish you didn't have to invite her, but dammit her party pooper energy is impressibly consistent. Morris is the exact type of guy you hope won't get time in a fun, young Detroit backcourt. But you know he will.

Paul Reed: Your Second Best Friend - He would never admit that he's not mad you didn't choose him as your Best Man, but he talks about it in private. He's prepared a speech just in case your apparent better friend doesn't pull through. 

Sasha Vezenkov: The Long-Lost Uncle - Maybe he's a great-uncle? You sent an invitation to his PO box out of principle, but he's actually shown up. He doesn't know anyone at the party and he has the social skills of a baby deer, but you know he's got some killer stories, and he just might make the night memorable.

Ayo Dosunmu: The Younger Brother - He's lurking around pregnant women trying to snag their drinking tickets, and you just watched him hit his vape inside. There's no circumstance where you'd allow him to make a speech, and your mom is hovering over him like a hawk making sure he stays in line, but if you need a beer he knows how to get you one. 

Jock Landale: The Best Man - Is he your best friend or is he just the friend you know is gonna deliver a solid speech?

Isaiah Jackson: The Scorned Ex - Red dress to a wedding, enough said. Do not fall for Jackson again, no matter how well she does the Cha Cha Slide. You are in a loving and consistent relationship with your other players, do not jeopardize your long-term happiness, even though she just chugged her third glass of wine and winked at you.

Jose Alvarado: The Favorite Cousin - It's not a proper family function until they roll in, smelling like straight gas. You have to sit at your little table in front of everyone, but you strain your ears to try and hear their jokes, and all night you wish you could be over there. I'm disappointed no one drafted him, including myself.

Duncan Robinson: The DJ Who Thinks He's Part of the Party - You liked the idea of an active DJ who brought the energy until you bump into his sweaty back on the dance floor as he raps over the instrumental of Candy Shop. 

Torrey Craig: The Grandma - Now that you're no longer living in sin she's started smiling at you again. Sit close to her and be surprised by how funny she still is.