After six arduous months of wasting my fucking time, here’s What We’ve Learned:
- Creating, developing, and running the league doesn’t buy you a berth in the second rd
- Sometimes the favorite is the favorite for a reason
- Every point matters
- You can’t trust old men at the end of a long season
- Kenny’s still really bad
Congrats to Will, Cody, Steven, and Isaac for making it to the second round of the playoffs. There was only one upset in an otherwise as-you-were week of action, and we don’t have to talk about it.
As for the rest of us losers, hell if I know how this works. It seems like we play each other this week, but next week it gets confusing. Ya’ll figure it out. Fuck this league
Bonus Stars:
The Equal Opportunity Offense Bonus Star goes to Steven for winning without having a single 100-point scorer
The That’s How The White Man Runs The Football Bonus Star goes to Cody for winning the Aryan Way with Austin Reaves
The Never Tell Me The Odds Bonus Star goes to me for having double the chance of progressing and having both teams fall flat on their faces
The Rascal Flatts What Hurts the Most Bonus Star goes to Michael for losing by one stupid point
Now for Some More Awards
Prettiest Player: Kelly Oubre Jr
Player Who Looks the Most Like a College Professor: Ricky Rubio
Lead Role in The Sound of Music as a Nazi: Zach Collins
Roundest Head: Eric Gordon
Best Jr: Larry Nance
Best Nickname: Drewbanks
Best Thumbnail Picture: Jalen Duren
Actually the Best Nickname: NAW
The Jonathon Isaac Award for Standing Up for What You Believe in: Cody, for his persistent Aryan thing
Shortest Name: Tie between Bol Bol and Tre Mann
Italian Stallion Award: Simone Fontecchio
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