Trade Talk and the Return of Bonus Stars

I’d like to open today’s email with the news of Kyrie Irving’s trade request. There were brief flashes at the onset of the Brooklyn Experiment where I was actually rooting for them. That ended a while ago. But now that a massive trade (or likely several) loom in the foreground, let’s discuss how this could affect us:

•  If Kyrie goes to the Lakers: The only way I’ve heard that this is doable is if they send back Russ. And KD’s not signing off on that. I don’t think anyone in the Nets is signing off on that, unless of course they get the ’27 and ’29 first rounders. Which hardly help the Nets now, who once they trade Kyrie either have to get back a win-now guy or blow it all the way up. That win-now guy doesn’t exist on the Lakers roster (unless it’s AD (dun dun DUN)) but that’s just hearsay.
• Let’s say, despite all indicators of reason pointing against it, that Russ and two first for Kyrie happens. Russ comes to Brooklyn as a starter, which fucks up Will’s plans in a big way. With Kyrie in LA, one of Schroeder or Pat Bev head to the bench, and we get a pretty good option in our league (feels likely it’d be Schroeder)
• If Kyrie goes to the Clippers: This would be so funny, for so many reasons, and would take a lot of moving pieces considering LA don’t seem likely to part with Kawhi or PG. But I can’t lie, for the Nets, the Clippers offer is likely to be the most enticing. All those rotation players they have over there to match the salary…
• Let’s just throw three players at the wall that match Kyrie’s exorbitant 36 million dollar salary: Kennard, RoCo, and Reggie Jackson. Three dudes who would absolutely play for the nets, with Kennard probably hopping right into the starting lineup, and maybe Reggie too (Last season on JJ Reddick’s podcast KD said he was really enjoying watching Reggie Jackson hoop). I don’t see RoCo displacing O’Neale. But no matter what happens, the Nets roster would stretch out in a great way for us
• Howabout another one: Powell, Morris, and Mann. The Clips would be fools to give up Powell and Mann, but if I’m the Nets I’m asking for at least one of them. Plus you could reunite the Morris twins to sell a few tickets. Powell and Mann feel like Nets starters, and if that’s true then whoever shakes free will be a good to great player for us
• If Kyrie goes to Chicago: Another bonkers one, but bear with me, I’m having fun now. Kyrie for Zach Lavine straight-up doesn’t change anything for us, but matches well and could be interesting. However
• Lonzo, Caruso, and White for Kyrie. Bulls punt on Lonzo, hand over a good young player who makes a decent bit with Coby White, and put in the only really good player who can play this year in Caruso. They keep their “Big 3” together and now make it a “Big 4,” yes I’m using air quotes when I read this in my mind. For the Nets: Lonzo’s a lost cause for the year, Caruso steps into the starting lineup, and White gets to battle it out with America’s Favorite, Ain’t Shit Funny Cam Thomas
• Kyrie cannot go to Miami. I tried. It just can’t happen
• He also can’t go to Toronto cause he’s not vaxxed. Dumbass
• Kyrie for Trae straight up. Who says no?
• Okay, let’s get back to the helpful ones: Kyrie to Dallas
• Kyrie for Finney-Smith and Dinwiddie. For some reason I’ve heard the Mavs are considering offers for Finney-Smith. That blows my mind, but hey, if he’s available the Nets won’t mind taking him off their hands. Plus we get the Dinwiddie return! What this does to the Nets could be pretty dramatic, for us. You have to make the call on O’Neale or Finney-Smith in the starting lineup (unless they kick Ben down to us again!). However it unfolds, I kinda think the Nets get better (eh) they at least get more consistent off the court, and better on D
• There are others but they just get dumber. Lemme know if you find a fun one that trickles down to us!

Now, onto the actual league stuff.

After the hustle and bustle of potential really good and fun players we could have available that I mentioned above, let’s take a hard pivot into reality land for our Best Available Free Agents According to Me

1.Austin Reaves – He’s slated to possibly return tomorrow. Looking at their starters, I don’t really think he’ll displace any of them, so stay on the lookout

2.The Aforementioned Cam Thomas – You never can trust his minutes or production, but the last two games he’s put up 21 and 19 real-life points. You might just catch him in a peak

3.Daishen Nix – Now this is a swing, but with KPJ and Jalen Green out for the Rockets, somebody’s gotta take shots. Nix has played 21, 27, and 33 minutes in their last three games and he just cracked 20 (fantasy) points for probably the first time all year. Could be reaching too far, or you could be hitting a rich vein of utterly unknown production

4.Daniel Theis – That’s right, Theis is back, baby! And with how much Carlisle seems to hate playing any of his other power forwards, Theis might really get a run

5.Danny Green – Both he and Theis are eligible for Old Man Team, so if you’re not feeling like taking swings on them, don’t worry, OMT’s got it from here

I’ve missed the Bonus Stars, so let’s bring em out

The Sore Ass Bonus Star for Getting Screwed goes to Old Man Team for picking up Jeff Green and having him put up a genuinely impressive -7 last night. -7. Might be the worst outing this league’s ever had

The Carolina Panthers Bonus Star for Making a Trade that Immediately Didn’t Work goes to Michael for the Melton-McDaniels swap. Not two weeks later McDaniels is securely on the bench and Melton is dropped. That’s rough

Finally, The Don’t Ask For Whom The Bell Tolls, It Tolls For Thee Bonus Star goes to Daniel for BP getting hurt, Kyle Anderson being a starter for two months, and Rui Hachimura getting traded out of eligibility. When one of us hurts, we all hurt