After yesterday’s fun, I locked myself away. Teetering between the keyboard and reality, I went full Beautiful Mind and prepared for ya’ll a document most maddening:
How the Trade Deadline Affects Us
Players on Teams in our League Affected…
· Positively:
o Jalen Duren – According to reports, Detroit plan to start Wiseman. Trying to figure out why they got him in the first place when they already have Beef Stew, Duren, and Nerlens Noel makes me wanna crawl up in a little ball and whimper. But hey, if the report’s true, Isaac just got a boost of eligibility
o Reggie Bullock – Guessing a little on this one but I think they’d rather keep the worst hair in the league with the second unit and run Green with the wolves. Either way, clearing out Finney-Smith gives Reggie more minutes
o Jalen McDaniels – … … I… … I just… … AHHHHH goddammit why did we trade a good young player who’s not making much money instead of any number of our old dudes who are keeping us out of the Wenby race while also dragging us down financially? Fuck. That being said, I think he’s gonna kill it in Philly. He won’t be asked to do as much work, he’ll get to focus in on what they need from him, and he bolsters a pretty deep but pretty mediocre bench. I’m excited to see him do well on another team, and that’s just what being a Hornets fan means
o Jevon Carter – With George Hill and Jordan Nwora leaving, the backcourt backups in Milwaukee have thinned out, leaving my guy Carter with a little more space to spread his wings
o Stanley Johnson – Spurs cleaned house a bit in the front court, which leaves Stanley T-Shirt more minutes to hustle and try hard and win the favor of the fans and coaching staff during a nice little stroll towards Wenby
· Negatively:
o James Wiseman – See Jalen Duren
o Collin Sexton – Not hearing a ton of people say Russ is even gonna land in Utah, which leaves the Jazz with the backcourt I’d dreamed about in the offseason: Sexson! Not nearly as strong as Sexland, but they’re gonna get some motherfucking shots up, that’s for sure. For my viewing pleasure, this is a positive trade. For my team, very negative
o Josh Green – Guessing a little on this one but I think they’d prefer a young, shockingly good defender over Reggie Bullock. Less set than Sexton, but I don’t see how I won’t be dropping him next week
o Walker Kessler – We were already pretty sure he was a starter, and now that they’ve shipped their depth down the river, he’s cemented his place. It hurts my soul, but Kessler’s gotta go pretty soon
o Zach Collins – Losing Poeltl and waiving Dedmon pretty much just leaves the Spurs with Collins at the five. Since they’re super-duper tanking, we’ll see if they bring anybody out of the G League, but there’s no reasonable reality in which Collins doesn’t start
o Troy Brown Jr – A good-to-decent depth piece on a Lakers team that is now overflowing with good-to-decent depth pieces. He might slip into obscurity
o Zeke Nnaji – He’d finally (Finally!) wrested backup center duties away from DeAndre Jordan, just for Thomas Bryant to swoop in. It makes me angry, but I expect his minutes to tail off barring injuries in the starting lineup
o Precious Achiuwa – I wasn’t sure what Toronto was up to, and I’m not sure they were either. But now with their guy back in town they’ve got an actual center, which, at least in theory, drops the minutes of their 6 to 8 6’8 dudes who were filling in under the rim
o TJ McConnell – TJ’s been killing it this year but the strange introduction of George Hill seems likely to cut into his minutes. Fucking George Hill. Glad he’s out of Milwaukee, but why did he have to come to another team I like?
o AJ Griffin – With the introduction of Bey, which I’ll get to later, there’s just no way his minutes go up. Despite a very good year, he seems primed to return to the spotty playing time he was getting for the first month or two of the season. Which feels dumb to me
o Josh Richardson – He was in a great spot, minutes-wise, with the Shitty Spurs, but now he’s going to the Pelicans, who have a ton of similar talent. Don’t understand this trade. Feels like bolstering an injury-prone lineup, and in that way I do expect him to contribute. But I don’t see a path to the consistent minutes he got in San Antonio
o Chris Duarte – He’s battled injury all year, but recently he’s picked up a few DNPCDs. With George fucking Hill coming to town, I don’t know if I expect Duarte to touch a basketball again this year
· Uncertainly:
o Nick Richards and Mark Williams – Impossible to tell what Charlotte’s main objectives are aside from testing the limits of my fandom, but getting rid of Plumlee is actually something I like. Getting nothing back for him (since we’re buying out Reggie) is just as bummy as I should’ve expected, but clearing the roster for Nick and Mark rocks. The problem is that Clifford the Big Red Grandpa can’t figure out who he likes more. We just have to wait and see who wins this spot
o Saddiq Bey– Logically Bey will play more than AJ Griffin, but also I don’t know if that’s logical at all. To steal a line from the Podfather, the Hawks are in some kind of Wing Race with the Nets a la the Cold War. This team has Hunter, Collins, Bogdanovic, Bey, Griffin, Johnson, and I guess technically Garrison Matthews. They dumped Cam Reddish last year for this exact reason, and now they add Bey. Again, I think they’ll give Bey more minutes than Griffin, but I think it’ll be fewer minutes than he got in Detroit, and he’ll also have to figure out how to play with Trey, something that might be easy and get him tons of open shots, or might go horribly sideways immediately. Easily the best player involved in a trade yesterday that makes no sense
o Malaki Branham – Shouts out Isaac picking him up while I was writing this email. The Spurs were tanking all year, but now they’re tying weights around their ankles. I expect a free-fall. And the best way to free-fall? Start rookies. Branham should see a bunch of minutes, I’ll just be keeping an eye on whether he stays on the bench
And now, Part Two
Free Agents Affected…
· Positively:
o JT Thor – With McDaniels gone, Martin hurt, and the Hornets in our usual state of flux, Thor’s primed for good minutes. Take this info with a grain of salt, though, because it’s the Hornets after all
o George Hill – Not that I think he should, but he’s gonna see the floor in Indiana. Carlisle loves his old dudes. It was a crowded backcourt already, so don’t expect a ton of minutes. Just enough to drop everyone else’s
o Ben Simmons – Ben came off the bench last night. Let me repeat: after Kyrie and then KD left and before Bridges and Johnson were available to suit up, the richest man on the team (allegedly, at least to some, the best man on the team) came off the bench last night. We all wanted him to go to a small market where no one would watch him and he could find himself again. Well hell, looks like he did
· Negatively:
o Obi Toppin – One thing Josh Hart coming to the Knicks means is all these other dudes on Thibs’ bench who don’t play defense are gonna play a combined 10 minutes the rest of the season. Obi might stick around on the fringes until Robinson comes back, but after that I’m afrain it’s curtains for Toppin
o Yuta the Shootah – Yuta was and remains to be so easy to root for. He single-handedly kept the Nets above water when Kyrie was on his anti-semitic kick. What a lovable guy. Sadly, the Nets now have about 11 wings who are better than he is. While he was invaluable for a struggling super team who needed an injection of character and hustle, he is now drowning in a sea of similar skills and body types for a team who could give a shit. Every minute he gets will be precious, both to him and to me
o Georges Niang – He’s been kind of Philly’s only backup forward, and he’s been undeniably their best bench player. With the inclusion of McDaniels, his minutes are gonna drop a little, or at least his production will
o Furkan Korkmaz – Depsite his cries to unKork the Furk, the Sixers did not trade him. Easily my favorite trade request of the season, maybe of my life. Furkin’ love that guy. Don’t exactly expect him to see the floor again this year, though
· Uncertainly:
o Quentin Grimes – He’s been starting, so maybe Thibs will reward him, but Josh Hart is undeniably a better player and he’s more switchable on defense. I actually think Grimes belongs in the Positively section, but Thibs is weird, so I’ll give him some time
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