Newsletter

I’d first like to say that I was at least initially for the first game momentarily a little bit off target with how the Bucks would handle Middleton coming back. They went with Allen in the starting lineup over my guy Jevon for that first game. But then they promptly rested everyone for the second game, so we still don’t know their actual plan. Keep your ear to the ground in Milwaukee: whether it’s Allen or Carter, a good player’s about to become available.

Now that that’s out of the way, I’m gonna give a couple shoutouts

·      Shouts out Steven for not trading with Isaac. As a matter of principle, if the man with the best record wants to make a trade with you, shun him like he has the plague

·      Shouts out Isaac for picking up Zach Collins (who our street reporters believe was involved in trade discussions immediately thereafter) who’s gonna grab some great minutes while Jacob Poeltl’s out. As an aside: go after as many Spurs players as you want; they are in full tank mode already. I’ve got my prime candidate in a segment a little later on

·      Shouts out the Old Man Team for picking up their first win of the season. Eat your heart out, Daniel

And then it was time…for America’s favorite gameshow: How Well Can I Guess the Random Players Dillon Thinks We Should Pick Up This Week? I don’t know if I made the clues easier or harder, so let me know

1.     Player 1 is an Illinois graduate with a three-letter first name. He’s recently been moved to the bench, a place we thought he would be at the start of the year (And potential bad news for the number one overall draft pick in our league (we’ll give it some time to be sure))

2.     Player 2 has two Fs in his last name. They’re back-to-back. He plays for the team who used to play in Baltimore, and his last two games he’s fucking flipped the switch and put up 50 and 43 fantasy points

3.     If you wanna ride the lighting with Player 3, I won’t stop you. He’s the other rookie on Bennedict Mathurin’s team, and last year he played for Gonzaga. Also, the league leader in assists is out again for tonight’s game, so Player 3 is likely to start in his place again

4.     Player 4: he’s a 26-year-old SF who plays in San Antonio and has a hyphenated last name. His first name is Keita.

It’s Bonus Stars Time!

The New Sheriff in Town Bonus Star goes to Will for beating Isaac in the Roommate Cup (it’s just the kick Isaac while he’s down week I guess)

The Meek Shall Inherit the Earth Bonus Star goes to Kenny for having the only perfect record

The Drunk Text Romance Bonus Star goes to Cody for Me Missing When I Had Jose Alvarado on My Team (dude dropped 38 points yesterday. Real points)

While I’m on the topic, I’ll leave you with my Used-To-Have All-Stars: the starting lineup of dudes I used to have but are on other teams now

PG – Jose Alvarado

SG – Malik Beasley

SF – Dante Divincenzo

PF – Jaylen Nowell

C – Obi Toppin

We’re getting absolutely lambasted on the boards, and if we’re playing a team who can throw an entry pass even as well as I can then we’re toast, but dammit, we can shoot. Once Mo Bamba gets healthy and someone snags him, this team will be more than playable.