Newsletter

Short turnaround from the last one, but a lot’s gone on, so let’s get it.

Firstly, Joel Embiid is out for at least two games. Combine this with Maxey being out a couple weeks and Harden nowhere near a return and all of a sudden Danuel House Jr is prime real estate and Montrezl Harrell might actually get to take out some of his energy on the court instead of fucking with Giannis.

Secondly, the Lakers injury cavalry hasn’t cracked the starting lineup yet. Maybe it’s because AD’s been on absolute fire, or maybe Schroder and Bryant just aren’t that good (both things can be true). Either way, Bryant’s very much up for grabs.

Thirdly, Alec Burks is 31, which fits the criteria for the Old Man Team. Let’s Go! 0-5 for now, but just wait for that veteran leadership to kick in halfway through the season and we’re going on a tear.

Fourthly, Caris LeVert is available! And in an incredibly believable twist, he’s also hurt!

Fifthly, why not keep it going, Cade Cunningham’s out for at least two more weeks, and they’re worried it might be longer. While Killian Hayes is on Will’s team and finally looking like a basketball player, plenty of bad to mediocre Pistons are available who will get some real deal minutes coming up: Hamidou Diallo and Cory Joseph to name two.

Sixthly, shouts out Peanut! Come and join the winner’s circle, my man.

Bonus Stars Time

The Did Someone Call 9 1 Ho-ly Shit Bonus Star goes to Isaac for scoring 910 points last week. Fuck me, that’s a lot of points

The I Ain’t No Fortunate Son Bonus Star goes to Steven for outscoring everyone in the league except for Isaac, who he was matched up against.

And finally, the Son of a Bitch Bonus Star goes to Will for swooping Paul Reed WHILE I WAS TYPING THIS, and making the Philly section less dramatic. Bastard