Trade!

 Toronto Receive 

-Bruce Brown

-Jordan Nwora

-Kira Lewis

Indiana Receive

-Pascal Siakam

Christian Koloko and James Johnson were waived.

Some thoughts

• Koloko was really good as a rookie last year, he's been hurt all season this year. Cutting him is painful, hope somebody picks him up. James Johnson understood the assignment, he'll be alright
• The Pacers getting an all-NBA PF without giving up Hield, Mathurin, or Walker is incredible. Yes, they're gonna miss Bruce Brown. But if there's any team in the league who could've used a little clearing at guard, it was the Pacers. Nembhard, McConnell, Hield, and Mathurin should see even more minutes now. The only decision is who starts
• I'm a Jordan Nwora guy. I've been on his island since the Bucks traded him for George Hill and then immediately cried about not having any young wings. I was there to see him simply never play for Indy. Now I'm gonna watch him sit on the bench in Toronto. I suspect I'll be on this island for the rest of my life
• Kira Lewis is fun. Little, fast as hell, showed he's got some goods when the Pelicans were hurt, which was often. Behind IQ, Schroder, and Barnes, I don't see him playing at all. But if Toronto go into the tank, he should see a lot of the floor
• Toronto's tank team would be pretty fun if they decide to pack it in. Gradey Dick and Jalen McDaniels would be dusted off, finally
• Carlisle has shown that he likes Jalen Smith more than Obi Toppin this year, but last year he hated Smith and barely played him. One of those two just lost essentially all of their minutes
• Isaiah Jackson should still be the backup 5 in Indiana, but we'll see how Carlisle handles rotating his stars. Pascal at the 5 with all the shooters they have off the bench could be very interesting, and could spell the end of another fun season from Jackson
• I'd have to think Bruce Brown starts for Toronto after the dust settles, but Gary Trent Jr's been playing well lately, so he might be eligible for us. We'll be monitoring the situation
• Realistically, Toronto's done trading. But if they wanna blow it up, watch out for Schroder going to a contender who needs a backup, and Poeltl, too

Here’s how I think these teams will line up (we’ll obviously keep a close eye on this)

Indy

Hali, Hield, Nesmith, Siakam, Turner

Toronto

IQ, Barrett, Brown, Barnes, Poeltl

Football Time

 Fuck it, if our league was a football team:

Justifications:

• Kevin Love is our park and bark QB1, zipping frozen ropes downfield. Have you seen that man grab a rebound and toss a one-handed zinger all the way across the court? Gotta get somebody back there who can get the ball downfield
• Cam Thomas is an iso legend. Get him the ball and get out of the way
• Kelly Oubre and Bennedict Mathurin are rangy athletes who can high point the ball and make something happen after the catch. Neither have elite speed, but we're getting plenty of stuff underneath with our next two skill players
• Austin Reaves in the slot is racially motivated. He's our Wes Welker
• Kyle Anderson might seem like a terrible TE, but the man quite simply will always be open. He'll find the hole in the zone and sit down in it, ready for the checkdown
• Larry Nance Jr is a rock at Center. Always plays his role with a great attitude, has chemistry with Kevin Love, isn't gonna make little mistakes
• For our Guards we've got tenacity. We need a yard? Bobby Portis is gonna get us a yard. Naz Reid brings the youth and athleticism the other three don't have anymore
• At Tackle we've got two guys who can move their feet. Jaylin Williams is the best charge-drawer in the league, Nic Batum is the quintessential three and D veteran wing. Those guys are gonna stay in front of their defenders

Justifications:

• Our Defensive Ends are pretty self-explanatory. Jonathon Isaac is gonna get in the damn backfield, and if he doesn't, he just needs to stretch one four-foot-long arm up in the air to bat away a pass. Isaiah Jackson plays basketball like a kangaroo. He's batting passes and blowing by offensive linemen all night
• On the interior, we've got one of the premier shot blockers in the league in Onyeka Okongwu, standing his ground and getting those hands up. Next to him we have the scrappiest guy in the league, Marcus Morris Sr. Gotta have a meanie in there to set the tone
• At corner we've got two elite perimeter defenders. Dyson Daniels is huge and Jose Alvarado's gonna call his own number on the blitz and be in the backfield before the QB can blink
• Dennis Smith Jr was practicing to try out in the NFL before the Hornets gave him a second life last year, so yeah, he's on the team. Got him at Nickel so we can pretty much play him wherever he's needed
• Inside Linebacker and play-caller is Dorian Finney-Smith. He's got all the tangibles: 30, 6'7, rangy, veteran enough to have seen it all, in his prime enough to still make the plays
• Outside Linebacker is the longest arms you've ever seen in Bilal Coulibaly, who's gonna win DPoY before he retires
• Strong Safety is Josh Hart. Effort, tenacity, and a helluva rebounder, which I do equate to interceptions
• Free Safety is Matisse Thybulle. I really don't need to explain this one, it's my most defensible pick

A Real-Life Trade!

 New York get: OG Anunoby, Precious Achiuwa, and Malachi Flynn

Toronto get: RJ Barrett, Immanuel Quickley

Both teams not only won the trade, but won the first game they played after making the trade. The Knicks took down the surprise of the season Timberwolves, and the Raptors outlasted the limping Cavs. Good on both of them, let's break down how it affects us:

New York

• DiVincenzo stays in the starting lineup 
• Quentin Grimes remains eligible, and he actually had a good game yesterday. With their weakened bench, they're gonna need him
• Miles McBride becomes, at least for the short term, an almost viable option at backup PG
• Malachi Flynn's really good season takes a header off the dam in The Fugitive. Poor guy, he was killing it in Toronto and Thibs isn't likely to play him at all. Although he'll fight for those McBride minutes, what few Thibs allows
• Josh Hart's importance grows
• Precious Achiuwa becomes their backup center, and I love it. He was drafted by the Heat, and the only thing more Thibs than Thibs is Heat Culture

Toronto

• Immanuel Quickley's two week clock has begun. Sorry Peanut
• Dennis Schroder's looking like a great pickup by Michael
• Chris Boucher is now the de facto backup center. If you wanna ride that rollercoaster, be my guest
• After just going into the starting lineup, Gary Trent Jr's back to the bench and about to play 30 minutes a night
• Not yet, but you'd have to think the Raptors move Siakim, so watch out for Jalen McDaniels and/or Gradey Dick. Again, down the line, not yet