Free Agent Roundup

It's the Free Agent Roundup

After Kyrie said "I can't be anti-Semitic if I know who I am" not once but twice, we've had ourselves quite the flurry of free agent activity. Here it is, in brief:

• Peanut swapped Dedmon for Muscala and ditched Saric in an attempt to find a functional big
• Cody exchanged Victor Oladeepball for Luke Kennard in his ongoing quest to create an all-white lineup
• I swapped Alvarado for Malik Beasley in a move that has already not worked out
• Isaac added Gabe Vincent, then dropped Vincent for Cam Thomas, then foolhardily dropped Thomas for Danuel House Jr.
• Cody exchanged Kum Buckets for Poku and came dangerously close to achieving his snowy dreams
• Will Dropped Coby White for Shake "Little Bill" Milton after Harden's injury news
• Old Man Team dropped Campazzo for Delly in a move so useless it wasn't worth the time I spent typing it
• I picked up my guy Edward Sumner, who's gonna start making shots soon, I swear it
• Cody went against his morals and exchanged Duncan Robinson for Alvarado in a move antithetical to his dream
• Old Man Team dropped Blake Griffin and picked up Coby White, whom he promptly traded to Steven for Patty Mills
• After the split, Cody dropped Daniel Gafford out of shame, and picked up Yuta Watanabe (Let's goooo)

Unless ya'll do anything else today, that wraps it up. And so, combining the news of Harden's injury and Kyrie's suspension with the pond turnover of new free agents, here is my list of best available, in order

Gabe Vincent - Boring, I know, but a more than functional backup pg to an old, old man in Kyle Lowry. Gabe's averaging 17 fppg, and he's fresh off his best game of the season. The Heat are kinda weird, but if there's one thing you can count on it's that their stars will sit some games. Gabe shouldn't be a free agent for too long

Cam Thomas - Too high? Not high enough. After not playing a second all year, he got in for one minute against the Bulls and then exploded last night against the 'Zards. Single-game +/-'s are hardly worth looking into, but my guy was +36 in 32 minutes. What crisis? Cam doesn't know what ya'll are talking about #freeCam

Austin Reaves - Cody? He'd fit your team like a glove

David Roddy - I picked him as my random guy off Memphis' bench to have a great year and then went out and didn't draft or acquire him in any way. Roddy averaged 26 minutes a game this week, and in his last four games he's produced 38, 12, 25, and 16 fantasy points. He's taking serious minutes from Brandon Clarke, which burns 

James Bouknight - 34 fantasy points against Memphis last night has officially put Bouk on the radar. He's been bad this year, hasn't even sniffed the starting lineup with both of our starting guards out. But he plays Brooklyn tonight, and they don't have a guard who can play defense as well as I did in kindergarten, so he stands a chance of having a good game

David Duke Jr. - In case you wanna get in on this Nets fallout you can grab the last remaining rotation guard. Also you'll guarantee yourself a bonus star for best name

Bonus Stars!

The Bonus Star for Snagging the Best Player Who Wasn't On My Radar goes to Isaac, for Kmart Jr

The Fuck Kyrie Bonus Star goes to Daniel for drafting Deni Avdija

And the I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas Bonus Star goes to Cody