Monday, October 24, 2022

Week One Winners, Losers, and Mario Party Bonus Stars

Week one has come and gone and it's time for some winners, losers, and Mario Party bonus stars.


Winners

Christian Wood - My god, this man's been on fire. Averaging 45 fantasy ppg, he's Center #17. There are 13 STARTING Centers in the league who were worse than he was last week

Bobby Portis - Beat the starting allegations and has been balling out with 30 fantasy ppg

Jalen McDaniels - Yes, the Charlotte McDaniels. Meteoric rise from undrafted free agent to Power Forward #25

The Jazz as a whole, but specifically Walker Kessler - This rookie I'd never heard of is Center #16 in the league (That's even higher than Christian Wood). Is he the best white player in the league?

Bennedict Mathurin - The truth. Most real life ppg for a rookie in the first three games of the season since 1995

Losers

Philly, and their whole bench - Philly lost their third game of the year to the freaking Spurs, which isn't even the worst part for us. Here are some of their bench players who are on fantasy teams in our league

  • Thybulle - Averaging negative fantasy points on the year and is playing less than a minute per game
  • Harrell - Averaging 1.2 fantasy ppg
  • Reed - Not playing at all
  • Korkmaz - Not playing at all

Lakers - You can't spell organizational dysfunction without LA

  • Nunn got -5 fantasy points on Sunday
  • Schroeder's still out for three weeks at least
  • Maybe they'll trade for Terry Rozier

Alright, now that that's out of the way, let's get to the Mario Party Bonus Stars


The Red Square Star for Worst Luck goes to... Cody and the Sky High Smiths! His whole damn team either got hurt or ended up starting. Here's to hoping Bald Jesus can turn that around


The Orb Star for Most Items Used goes to... Michael and Twerk Nowitzki! This man has been BUSY in free agency, making no less than 13 transactions since draft day (that's five more than Kenny's made, and he had to pretty much redraft a whole team). Shouts out Michael for picking up Colin Sexton before I could even send ya'll an email about him


The Coin Star for Most Original Draft Picks Still on the Squad goes to... Will and Password is Taco! All of them. Every pick is still on the team. He just crushed the draft I guess. Punk.


The Green Star for Luckiest goes to... Steven and the Team I Won't Type The Name of Again! Truly incredible that Wood fell to him in the draft, and now Max Strus is going off, Dragic dodged the starting bullet and is playing well, and Cedi Osman comes out of free agency and lights up the world. Luckiest man in the league right here. No pressure

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